legovanan
had soooooo much fun today; went with Olivia and her friend Ali (Alli? Aly? i don't know... all these ppl spell it differently) to a UCLA women's basketball game. they played Texas (WHO SHOULD HAVE WON!!!!) Yea... I was traitor again; I wanted Texas to win. OMG their point guard was sooo awesome; Jamie Carey 5"6. great passer, shooter, ball handler, and overall leader. her shots were especially nice. GAH!!!1 they were up almost the entire time, till the very end. THAT SHOT SHOULD HAVE COUNTED; the one by... erm.. Nina N-- can't remember her last name. she made that shot, and got fouled, but NO--stupid ref had to say it was BEFORE the shot!!! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN AND ONE, not two bloody free throws she didn't make... ah well. Texas played great and UCLA were okay. ESPN said it was "shocking" as Texas just toppled the #1 seed that no one else can beat, (their #4) and now they lose to a team that is supposedly worse than them, and not even in their conference. ah well.
LIVERPOOL BEAT ARSENAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
REAL MADRID WON 5-0!!!!!!!
great day for football (or for "yanks" soccer)

SCHOOL TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!! i don't like getting up early!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

legovanan
HAPPY THANKSGIVING PEOPLE!!! enjoy the FOUR days off!!!!! SLEEP, EAT, PARTY, and SCREW HOMEWORK!!!! (i shouldn't be talking, but STILL)
we won our first game... i made my free throws!! god those girls foul hard. Connie--they were SWISHES!!! be proud of me!
Now, in the spirit of the great holiday that has granted me so many days of rest (i'm so thankful. Good job Pilgrims and Indians!!) Here's some of what I'm thankful for (not in any particular order):
1. Connie (or as i say Vorinwe, or con con lau lau, or plain CON)
Always there for me to ramble to, and fills the empty space when I'm occupied (hehe) Great friend; always there. It's weird how you weren't my "closest" friend at CHJHS, at least not in 7th grade, but now, you're the person from jr high that I keep most in touch with. Thanks for always screaming "Backboard" which I use almost 95% of the time now--amazing!!! You're a great friend, and I wish you were at TROY!!!! I'm sorry if I drive you crazy and all the "ARGH" correcting your English, Chinese, Spanish, and of course--Elvish!!! There's more, but I'm too lazy to type. You know you're one of my bestest friends (even if you like the Lakers...) BEAKY
2. JRR Tolkien (wow I put Connie BEFORE him?? ah well, not in preferential order.. hehe)
For creating Middle-Earth, Valinor, the Void, and everything else in Aman. For inspiring me to write things I never thought I could, and for giving me something to believe in or inspire myself with whenever things get really bad; overall: for inspiration and my dreams
3. Kathleen
What can I say about you? There's too much. I admire you soo much. If I had to listen to myself for these 11 years, I think I would've exploded by now. I think I know why your so deaf (you know it's true) me and Justine have screamed too much! Thanks for being the awesomest bestest best friend ever!!! it's amazing how much crap I take out on you, and stop laughing at me about that stuff!!! O yes, and putting up with my excessive rambling about Tolkien, Elves, gymnastics, spurs, and whatever else I'm infatuated with.
4. Pete Jackson; Fran Walsh; Philippa Boyens; Viggo Mortensen; Howard Shore; Elijah Wood; David Wenham, and everyone else who worked on the LotR films and made it so wonderful. What would I do if they hadn't done that?
5. Camron (yes I am thankful for Cam) For always being honest (or too honest) with me, and for keeping me on my toes and my arguments honed and prepared for attack. For pissing me off so much... well I'm not too thankful for that part..
6. Elsa! What would I do without you Hanna? I mean, who else bites people and role plays almost every single moment of their life?!? Hope you keep up your infatuation with Pip and Jack (YOU HAVE TO PICK ONE) and he's NOT FAIRY!!!! You MUST move back to CA!!!!! Thanks for understanding about the stupid arrogant people in this world, sending surveys, and even if you are a Southern Conservative, I still love ya! WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST COMMUNISM?!?!??!
7. my parents
8. Miriel, Susan, and all the other great Tolkien writers out there. It's great to have you guys bcuz I can ramble on and on about Maglor and Finrod, or defend Feanor for hours and you listen, and ACTUALLY RESPOND in language that Tolkien would NOT be turning in his grave about. (Miriel--I know you have Maedhros!) Thanks for the awesomest stories and poems like Sea's Loss and others written when you were intoxicated (hehe) that I would say might even rival Tolkien's, except that would be blasphemy.
9. andy-- why must you be a junior? this way I don't see you very often and don't get to talk to you! Thanks for being so poetic and understanding, and no--you aren't a stoic! All your ramblings and poems are so inspirational (and i'm not saying it just to make you feel good; i'm serious) and sometimes, after reading that stuff, i think about things in a lot different way.
10. I can't believe I'm saying this, but to George W. Bush, John Kerry, Hilary Clinton, Dick Cheney, Condaleeza Rice, and every one else in the political arena. Thanks for being the dirty, lying scoundrels you are, for it always keeps me on my toes and i always have something to discuss and argue about.
11. Aleksei Bondarenko, Aleksei Nemov, Xing Ao Wei, Teng Hai Bin, Li Xiao Peng, Paul Hamm, Hiroyuki Tomita, Svetlana Khorkina, Yelena Zamolotchikova, Anna Pavlova, etc. for being the great gymnasts and also giving me something to be infatuated with
12. Olivia for keeping my underwear just TWO sizes too small. I wouldn't want it to pinch too much. You're never gonna get it to fit perfectly or be too big, just warning ya. Your optimism rubbed off on me (believe it or not) and all that sugar is BAD FOR YOU!!! (Though i love it of course)

I think I'm gonna stop there, before it gets too long, and besides, I have to go with my dad to the airport. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! EAT LOTS OF FOOD FOR ME!!!

legovanan
in response to andy's chatter post, i don't post anymore bcuz there's nothing to say. it's always the same, which is pretty much the problem. people at Troy piss me off, and i bury myself into the work, which is comforting while it lasts. I just can't wait till Thanksgiving break, but I doubt it'll make any sense even then. i don't know. i mean, not every freshman @ Troy is THAT bad, and there are some that I get along with, but there's no one that i really feel "connected" to (as cheesy as that sounds) andy's crazy. the juniors are the only cool people at that school. i got to know a couple of them through debate, and all my other clubs. Simon is such an idiot, but he's hilarious.
O yes. Debate. LD is soooo freaking formal. People bury their empty heads beneath formal structure and fancy words. i wish i could go back to parli (parliamentary for you non-debaters) with my two ryan's. i find myself longing for alot of things of jr. high (and more so the past summer in the UK) it's not the stress of Troy; it's really not that bad, except all the time wasted driving to and fro, but it's just the people are so different. there's so many more people, and it's amazing as you walk around the campus, you take the same route every day from class to class, and you see the same people; their faces become familiar, but yet you never really know who they are. their just a face you see, and if you don't see them one day, there might be a small tinge of wonder that you'll soon forget, or you might not realize it at all. these threads cross every day, yet they never really enmesh to create anything. i do wonder what could happen if we stopped and said "hello" to these people we see every day, instead of just passing them hurriedly, each buried in our own issues and stress. you look around the campus and people look like they're New York business people, without the long black coats. their heads are downcast, they walk hurriedly with wrinkle lines on their foreheads, not realizing the journey, only thinking about how to get there.
i need to stop being so nostalgic. i don't know. it's just when i sit here alone do these thoughts come to haunt me. when i'm working they tend to move away a bit, yet not truly so, and then there are things like Tolkien, music, books, soccer, basketball, and of course: gymnastics that take my mind away from all this stuff.
ah!!! i look at these past posts, and their all rather depressing. NOT GOOD

legovanan
::yawns:: ::stretches:: so tired... basketball hurts, but it's worth it, i hope.
it kinda sucks now that i don't take the bus home cuz i don't talk to some people very much anymore. I mean, I still see Matthew at times, in history, and I squeeze in the 3-4 minutes I get to talk to him everything I can, and a couple times I see him around the school, but I miss sitting there making fun of Matthew (::shakes head:: retainers... wayne rooney--BLECH)
i'm not really worried about not talking to Kathleen (not in a mean way of course) but it's just, even if i wanted to ignore kathleen completely and pretend she doesn't exist in my life, it's pretty much impossible. now that my mom's back, it's practically prophesized that i'm going to her house sometime soon.
andy.. i miss that guy. it seems like since i've gone to Troy, i've talked to him less and less, which is kind of weird, becuz I only used to see him once a week, yet it seemed like we talked more. I don't know. I mean, in the morning, he's always attempting to sleep (over the noise we make of course. sry!) and i don't see him much during the day, and now I don't take the afternoon bus.

EEK! it seems like all i've ever been doing on this thing is complaining! ah well, who needs optimism?? so sad...
i actually did go through and write another Nerdanel/Feanaro short story. exactly one page long and Connie supposedly liked it, which I am glad. It was Nerdanel and my pov, and i had Feanor say two lines, both from my actual life, from someone we all know and argue with, or at least i do...

legovanan
reading the most intriguing book!!! I FINALLY received my four books from the library, all by the same author, and I am riveted, and cannot take my eyes off the book long enough to type this. I'm currently reading the longest one, "Queen of this Realm" about Elizabeth Tudor. It's amazing to hear her called ELizabeth Tudor, instead of Queen Elizabeth I.
what was more amazing to me was that when I was reading about all these places, Lord of Chester, the White Tower, Beauchamp Tower, Traitor's Gate, and various places in London, I could picture in my mind exactly what they looked like, and I could say to myself with satisfaction, "I've been there before." I also remembered standing by what used to be Traitor's Gate, which led to the moat and the Thames, closing my eyes and seeing Elizabeth being rowed in, horrified, but unwilling to show her weakness, and hearing the screams of the tortured and imprisoned. They talk about Lady Jane Grey, and Anne Boleyn, and I remember (and have pictures) of the very houses they were imprisoned in 500 years ago. It's amazing!!! I'm so happy. I shall now be in uttermost content for the next week or 2, for I have my amazing books. YAY!!! good historical fiction always puts me in a good mood, and shuts me up as well, as some people have noticed.. hehe.

legovanan
i've been neglecting my blog. i'm so ashamed. it's not because i don't have time to do it, and i'm always online, as those of you might know, but there's just nothing to say anymore, which i think is the problem. I think I'm going through this again, where I don't feel there is a purpose and there's nothing to excite me anymore. I know I'll snap out of it soon enough, but just right now, my life is so routine. I mean, I'm not asking for some great adventure like Aragorn and company, but just something different once in a while, or at least something to be excited over. Though basketball and soccer are in season, I'm not hanging on every statistic at the moment. School is so routine: get up early and tired, get on bus, argue with Camron, annoy andy with our noise, go to locker, go to class, wait for camron, walk to class, etc. there's nothing different, no purpose. I know I'm supposed to be getting a great education, but I don't like it there. The school and classes are alright, but there's no one (or at least no freshman) that I really really "bond" with. There's no one like Connie, Karisha, and Whitney for me to just sit down and laugh with. Again, here comes my tumbleweed analogy.. just floating along, no purpose in mind, and kathleen, don't tell me that's scientifically incorrect.

Yes, I know, there's writing and LotR, but I don't know. It just doesn't feel like it used to. Gymnastics is my only outlet anymore, but there's only so many times you can watch Aleksei Nemov on the high bar and floor exercise, and Aleksei Bondarenko on high bar, pommel horse, and vault until your dad screams that if he sees another gymnastics tape in the next 24 hours, he's going to burn them all. Sigh.. Maybe I just need a long rest...
I find myself dreaming about this past summer, the time I spent in the UK; all the fun and friendships we had there. That was an adventure, and it was like, for those three weeks, we were removed from our society, and all the worries and stress from home were gone. I felt so carefree, so happy.. ::sigh:: I need to stop doing this, write some poetry, and stop myself from plunging into depression again..

Going back to the no excitement thing, POLITICS doesn't even instill the same passion and anticipation in me anymore. I don't want to hear the latest news, because all I ever is Bush's triumphant gloating and how the future is gonna be great. Tell me how the future is going to be great when the entire world hates you? I was scrolling down cnn.com the other day, and in World News, they have a column for every continent except Antarctica, and I horrified me that in the 3 headlines they had under each continent, there was not a single one that didn't involve the words: killing, murder, bomb, explosion, suicide attack, terrorism, dead, injured, died, etc. What has our world become??? sometimes I wish it could just all stop. Why can't it just all stop? What is so hard about stopping all the fighting? No one likes killing or dying, so why do we fight so hard?!?
The only glimmer these past couple of days was discussing the election with Sam. I wrote sooooooo much yesterday, replying a REALLY long letter I got. It was fun talking to someone who actually cared.

legovanan
just took this weird quiz thing, personality evaluation, and it says my worst quality is, "You need what you can't have."
..........

legovanan
this last week has been chaotic. election, grades, parents, early bus rides, and camron. we had a nice long, yet frustrating discussion yesterday. we both didn't have practice yesterday, so we spent 6th period sitting there doing hw and talking. i have a nice deep cut in my finger as well from it. that boy needs to cut his nails. the convo gave me alot to think about however. he was being his enigmatic self as usual, and of course, i was trying to understand why.
he would say something that was very ambiguous, and i'll be like, "Why can't you just tell me?!"
and he answers, with that grin that makes me want to smack him, and cry at the same time, "It'd take all the mystery out of it then. It wouldn't be any fun anymore, without the mystery that I am."

GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what's so good about a mystery??!? i hate mysteries. i like to feel assured that i know things! yet his words (and i'm not posting all of them, bcuz he turned philosophical later) reminded me of Tolkien. (everything reminds me of Tolkien). Tolkien once wrote, "an attraction like that of viewing far off an unvisited island, or seeing the towers of a distant city gleaming in a sunlit mist. To go there is to destroy the magic, unless new unattainable vistas are again revealed." I love that quote. Now, how it relates to what Cam said? "To go there is to destroy the magic," is what Tolkien said, and Camron always says, "If I told you, then it wouldn't be the mystery anymore." or "If I told you, then you would know, and I don't want that. You have to find that out for yourself." (i hate it when he says that)
ambiguity, enigma, mystery. what do those three words all have in common? they all describe camron in some form or fashion, and it drives me crazy!!!
most go vent and write poetry

legovanan
as i was just saying to patrick, "Perfection. I am ever seeking it, yet shall I ever attain it?" that i do wonder.

one day, i'm going to sew (if i can sew w/o killing myself) onto my bag, or the cover thingy on my piano, "Repetition towards perfection." as the Romanian gymnasts like to say (except in Romanian, of course) i should go to the translating thing and type that in, and see what it is.. hang on
GAH. couldn't find a free translator to Romanian that worked very well bcuz it's not a major language, so instead, I got Russian. problem is, Russia has a very different alphabet, and it didn't tell me how to read this:
Повторение(Копия) к совершенствованию.

YEA... i'm gonna go try and find it in romanian now. HERE WE GO. now, without the accent marks, bcuz this stupid thing doesnt' recognize it (which is why i can't put them on elvish either)
repetare catre perfectie.
YAY!!!! i should sew that to one side of the bag, and then the english to the other.

freaking out over election