My first blog post of 2010. How strange. How long have I been blogging, anyway? I'm currently trapped at Lake Arrowhead. Not that I don't like being here--it's actually very restful.. I sat on the balcony and read in the sunshine for most of the afternoon today, but there's an Asian party going on and I can't go because no one trusts me to drive myself down.

Six hours after first starting this blog post, I reflect upon a pretty enjoyable night. My mom and I found this video store where DVDs are only a dollar!! So amazing! We rented "The Illusionist" and "La Vie En Rose" and watched "The Illusionist" tonight, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Love Edward Norton. Now I'm lying in bed with the last part of "The Patriot" on while blogging.

We welcomed in the new decade last night with relatively little fanfare. My mom's side of the family were all over here, but my uncle was too drunk by that time and everyone else too tired. My cousin Hetty and I watched the NYC countdown and then I was tormented all night by her incessant diagonal movement and kicking and all that. Children and their terrible sleeping habits, says the person who wakes up with her head where her feet were when she went to bed.

I don't want to get all philosophical, but this decade really frightens me. Someone my age's Facebook status today was something like: "New decade plans: 1) marry a tall, dark, and handsome man 2) make babies 3) be happy" or something like that. THAT IS NOT OKAY! Because it's TRUE! I mean not necessarily, but seriously, this is the decade in which people my age are supposed to find their life partner, settle down, have babies, and become middle-aged. This is supposed to be the best decade of one's life, but also the scariest, and if you buy into Sam Mendes' view of suburban life, the decade of disillusionment. It's the time when we bury our dreams, dismissed as youthful, fanciful, impossible, and submit to the abject reality of practicality.

Okay. Maybe I'm being overdramatic and overly pessimistic, but it's so frightening. This is the first decade of my life that I've remembered basically everything. I remember when it was 2000 and everyone was going on about Y2K and the end of the world. I spent New Year's then at Lauren's house, with Kathleen, Lauren, Erin, Philip, and everyone, and Philip kept talking about how the world was going to end, so at the countdown, we were sitting on Lauren's bed and we buried our heads in our arms waiting for the world to explode. I didn't get to spend the 2009-2010 new year with them again (even though I was supposed to at the Asian party today), but it's still the marker of a decade in which I've grown (up or down or sideways irrelevant), enjoyed, hated, and remembered. I went through four schools in that decade, four boyfriends, living in two different states, going to Europe three times, meeting dozens of wonderful people that I hope to be friends with for a long time yet, lots of different interests, etc. Though I definitely don't see her nearly enough, I'm still the best of friends with Kathleen, something I'm infinitely grateful for, and I think I met all my other friends in this decade. All these wonderful things happened in this decade, some in very short periods of time, such as my friendship with Florian. I know I shouldn't be afraid of what's coming, but it just seems like that out of all the decades in a person's life, this is the decisive one, the one that sets up the rest of your life. I can do this. Breathe, Elaine. I can do this. Just because you're getting old doesn't mean you can't do it in style. I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life, but that doesn't matter. I'll figure it out. I hope. And I will meet my perfect European man (who plays the violin and sings and speaks lots of different languages), or whoever it is that I'm going to end up with, and it'll all be okay. And it's okay not to "settle" or what not. Don't listen to my mother who keeps thinking that there's going to be no one left if I don't hurry up and settle down or something. Ridiculous woman.

So I don't know if it's happy new year necessarily, but nonetheless, I'm sure I will be happy during it. And it will all work out.