legovanan
this last week has been chaotic. election, grades, parents, early bus rides, and camron. we had a nice long, yet frustrating discussion yesterday. we both didn't have practice yesterday, so we spent 6th period sitting there doing hw and talking. i have a nice deep cut in my finger as well from it. that boy needs to cut his nails. the convo gave me alot to think about however. he was being his enigmatic self as usual, and of course, i was trying to understand why.
he would say something that was very ambiguous, and i'll be like, "Why can't you just tell me?!"
and he answers, with that grin that makes me want to smack him, and cry at the same time, "It'd take all the mystery out of it then. It wouldn't be any fun anymore, without the mystery that I am."

GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what's so good about a mystery??!? i hate mysteries. i like to feel assured that i know things! yet his words (and i'm not posting all of them, bcuz he turned philosophical later) reminded me of Tolkien. (everything reminds me of Tolkien). Tolkien once wrote, "an attraction like that of viewing far off an unvisited island, or seeing the towers of a distant city gleaming in a sunlit mist. To go there is to destroy the magic, unless new unattainable vistas are again revealed." I love that quote. Now, how it relates to what Cam said? "To go there is to destroy the magic," is what Tolkien said, and Camron always says, "If I told you, then it wouldn't be the mystery anymore." or "If I told you, then you would know, and I don't want that. You have to find that out for yourself." (i hate it when he says that)
ambiguity, enigma, mystery. what do those three words all have in common? they all describe camron in some form or fashion, and it drives me crazy!!!
most go vent and write poetry