legovanan
Busy day today. Woke up. Ate. As always, and then my dad calls and gives me this HUGE lecture about wasting my summer away. Dragged me off to the library where I checked out a million children's espanol books to study. Now I have to memorize the periodic table, as it will aid me in chem next year apparently.

Did math problems for like 3 hours. Headed over to mom's to hang out w/ Kathleen and Justine for half an hour. Talked to my Indian neighbor before driving to Roland Heights for dinner with my annoying but at times hilarious relatives from my mom's side. They were hilarious, and again, at times annoying. Now back home, just played piano for 1.5 hours. So fun!!! My ballade is starting to actually sound like a ballade, and I've played lots more of the etude!! YAY!

I had something to ramble about, but I forgot. OOO I wrote another Feanor story in Chicago. Has a lot of potential, but I can't write stories without a computer, just like I can't write poetry on the computer. Doesn't flow correctly, so now I'm kinda using the paper as a guide and letting it flow on the computer, and then combining the two. Was trying to write it today, but wasn't in a very creative mood.

legovanan
i've been long overdue for a long rant. i have like 20 different things to say; most of them long rants..

I have returned from Chicago! Tis a nice city; probably my favorite big city in the US. It's clean, with nice buildings, culture, nature (the lake), and people. It made me think, as we were taking the buses and the subway, what would it be like to live in a city like this? Someday I'd like to find out. I'm not a big city person, as the noise, overcrowding, pollution, PEOPLE HONKING THEIR STUPID HORNS, extreme lack of nature, and constant movement drives me insane after a while, but i'd like to experience city life someday, preferably in London, Liverpool, or some other European city. Chicago wouldn't be bad either. They don't have as much of the things that drive me crazy. What would it be like to take the train home every day? I'd like to know how it would feel to step out of your front door, and have an entire city bustling around. It'd make me feel a bit insignificant though, in that huge place, with all those people going about on their business, without any knowledge or regard for what you're doing. What would it feel like to be surrounded by high rise buildings all day, with the mall spanning across a street, not just one complex? I suppose it would get tiresome, stressful, and routine after a while, but I'd like to try it. It probably wouldn't suit me once the novelty wears off, and I'll want to move back to my quaint little suburb, where nature still prevails, but the modern world still lurks beneath.
Chicago's a nice city, but I'm really not particularly fond of middle America. People are so.. simple there. I don't mean to stereotype or belittle in any way, but I think I need the culture and history of the East Coast, or at least the drive of the West. I just want to go somewhere where the history and culture are preserved, and you can feel it in the every day people. I love the US, don't get me wrong, but I really need to tour and experience Europe, and maybe even live somewhere there for a while. I want to live in England, or even France (granted that I know the language) but I'm afraid I won't belong there either. It hurts to find out that your dreams aren't quite what you believed them to be.

Now to my Harry Potter ranting. Started it on the plane. Five and a half hours later, after tears and shock, finished it. SPOILERS HERE DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW. I CAN'T BELIEVE HE DIED!!!!!!!! AND I HATE THAT MURDERER!!!!! I DON'T CARE IF HE TOLD HIM TO KILL HIM, I STILL HATE HIM!!!! I sound like Harry. Someone placated me a bit by comparing HIS death to the death of Obi-Wan. Harry can't have him to depend on in the final duel between him and Lord Voldemort, just like Luke couldn't have Obi-Wan around when he brought down *sniff* Lord Vader. Whoa I just realized that they're both Lord Vs.
I love #6. It's probably my favorite. I have a thing for the evens: 2, 4, and now 6. I think it appealed to me the most because of the going into to the Pensieve, probing into Voldemort's past. I don't know why, but I have this extreme love for analyzing people's past, connecting it with their present, and deciphering "Why" from those facts. Maybe I should be like a psychoanalyst or something. So when Harry and Dumbledore stepped out of the Pensieve, I hungered for more of Tom Riddle's past.
Harry's little romance struck me as... sudden. There was nothing absolutely wrong in JK Rowling's way of putting it, but it was so... underdeveloped. I mean, out of the blue, he just started feeling things for her! I mean, other than the fact that JK Rowling described her as one of the hottest girls in the school, Harry never had any extreme feelings for her, and I like to think that Harry isn't extremely shallow, though after Cho Chang and this person, both described as extremely pretty, I'm starting to think it.
Tonks and Lupin, well that is an interesting pairing. Other than Ron/Hermione, JK Rowling really isn't that great with developing romances. I LOVE Lupin. My favorite character of that generation; my favorite teacher; and in my top 3 favorites overall. Poor Bill. I love how Ginny calls Fleur "Phlegm". No French jokes please, Matthew.
Overall: great book, except that STUPID @$$ OF A MURDERER.

I had like a lot of other things to ramble about, but I have piano today, and I haven't been home/practiced for a week, so gotta go cram!

legovanan
Well I'm leaving for Chicago tomorrow morning bright and early. FOUR AM. GAH! Be gone for a week! You guys will all miss me, I know. Leave lots of notes on the chatter Connie, Elsa, Matthew but he's not here, Kristina, Andy.

eh

legovanan
I got this from Irene. I can't believe myself, but I will do it. My pathetic life.

A) Bold the names of guys you’d def. shag.
B) Possibly Shag after a little persuasion, put in italics.
C) Leave the ones you don't know of or wouldn't want to shag alone.
D) Strike the ones you wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. (how do i strike? i'll just uh... say 'NO' next to them)
E) Add one of your own at the end.

1. Stephen Dorff
2. Wesley Snipes (NO)
3. Denzel Washington (my mom would bold this one)
4. Samuel L Jackson (NO. MACE WINDU?!?!)
5. Hayden Christensen (WHO could say NO to ANAKIN?)
6. Ian Somerhalder
7. James Van Der Beek
8. Ashton Kutcher (EW NO! NOT EVEN WITH A 15 FOOT POLE)
9. Sean William Scott (NO DISGUSTING)
10. The Rock (NO)
11. Brendan Fraser (NO)
12. Oded Fehr (who the?)
13. John Hannah (?)
14. Hugh Grant (like, but wouldn't shag)
15. Colin Firth (bolds for my mom)
16. Liam Neeson (uh I cannot shag a Jedi Master)
17. Daniel Day-Lewis (NO)
18. Leonardo DiCaprio (i'm sorry for my weakness)
19. Billy Zane
20. Harry Connick Jr
21. Sean Astin (aww tis SAM!!! how can anyone ever think of that?!)
22. Dominic Monaghan (PLEASE don't shoot me elsa. he's MERRY)
23. Karl Urban (it's EOMER! whoa lots of LotR men, but uh NO. NOT eomer)
24. Vin Diesel (my mom would bold this)
25. Paul Walker (those eyes!!!)
26. Joshua Jackson
27. James Marsden
28. Shawn Ashmore (eh... not really. grew out of him)
29. Hugh Jackman
30. Will Kemp
31. David Wenham (it's FARAMIR. need i say more?)
32. Viggo Mortensen (my king.. this is dirty, but i can't help it. don't kill me arwen!)
33. Elijah Wood (my precious.. those big, blue, beautiful eyes!)
34. Tobey Maguire (o yea...)
35. James Franco (o god jen would be like drooling)
36. Alfred Molina
37. Harrison Ford (EW IT'S HAN SOLO)
38. Sean Connery (my mom would)
39. Shane West (uh... i'd have to think long and hard about that one)
40. Stuart Townsend
41. Richard Roxburgh
42. Ewan McGregor [*drools*]
43. Jonathan Rhys Meyers (hahaha this is the guy from Bend It LIke Beckham. With that body and that accent...)
44. Christian Bale (that name is familiar. who is he?)
45. Jared Leto
46. Colin Farell (EW NO)
47. Ben Affleck (EW NO)
48. Josh Hartnett (teheh. eyebrows.. esther!)
49. Bruce Willis (EW NO)
50. Billy Bob Thornton (EW NO)
51. Dennis Quaid (EW NO)
52. Jake Gyllenhaal (he's adorable)
53. Patrick Swayze (EW NO)
54. Keanu Reeves (that would take.. LOTS and LOTS of persuasion)
55. Gary Oldman (EW NO! SIRIUS BLACK?!)
56. Tim Roth
57. Steve Buscemi (EW NO HE HAS TEETH ISSUES)
58. Michael Madsen
59. Rick Yune
60. Pierce Brosnan (EW NO)
61. Robert Carlyle
62. Jonny Lee Miller
63. Jude Law (i'm sorry if i can't resist his pretty boy looks)
64. Matt Damon (again. LOTS and LOTS of persuasion)
65. Clive Owen (he's british)
66. Ryan Phillippe (watch Cruel Intentions, mate.. he's fffiinnneee)
67. Benicio Del Toro
68. Johnny Depp (HELL YES. i don't care if he's old enough to be my dad)
69. Orlando Bloom (who wouldn't?)
70. Sean Bean (Ew it's BOROMIR. his brother please)
71. Eric Bana (listen to him as Hector.. that man has the sexiest voice next to Viggo)
72. Brad Pitt (don't know why, but brad doesn't appeal to me as much)
73. George Clooney (ugh... bold for my mom?)
74. Mark Wahlberg
75. Jason Statham
76. Edward Norton
77. Ben Stiller (EW NO DISGUSTING)
78. Owen Wilson (he has nose issues.. NO)
79. Vince Vaughn (EW NO)
80. Joaquin Phoenix
81. Russell Crowe (EW NO!!! ELSA!!)
82. Billy Boyd (I personally wouldn't, but I know my good friend Hanna is married to him. NO MINERALS)
83. Paul Bettany
84. Heath Ledger (he has jaw issues, but sure)
85. Mel Gibson (EW)
86. Jason Isaacs (EW LUCIUS MALFOY!?!?! NO)
87. Alan Rickman (EW NO IT'S SNAPE, though somehow lots of older women are in love with him.. don't know what they see)
88. Kevin Costner (NO)
89. Christian Slater
90. Antonio Banderas (EW NO)
91. Tom Cruise (EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW NOOOOO i don't know WHAT girls see in him!!!)
92. Ving Rhames
93. John Cusack
94. John Malkovich (NO)
95. Charlie Sheen
96. Kiefer Sutherland
97. Emilio Estevez
98. Rob Lowe
99. Matt Dillon
100. Kevin Bacon
101. Adam Brody (o god that's disgusting. i know girls who love him though)
102. Andy Serkis [I would definitely want to shag Gollum just so i could buy the t-shirt with the words "I shagged Gollum, what did you ever do?] (nice response irene. that's funny)
103. Alan Cumming
104. Josh Groban (that voice!)
105. Sean Biggerstaff (o god let me at him!!!)
106. Zack Braff
107. Harry Sinclair
108. Gerard Butler (tehehe my mom and elsa and nabila would kill me)
109. Marton Csokas (CELEBORN? no thank you! Galadriel would blast me for one)
110. Jeremy Sumpter (awww he's adorable!!! he's only 17 too!)
111. Sean Patrick Flannery
112. Cillian Murphy
113. Hugh Dancy
114. Ioan Gruffudd
115. Mads Mikkelsen
116. Gael Garcia Bernal
116. Enrique Murciano
117. Jamie Bamber
118. Craig Parker (HALDIR?!?! EWWW! Marchwarden of Lothlorien? no thank you!)
119. Dean Cain
120. James Marsters
121. David Boreanaz
122. James Spader
123. Kevin Spacey
124. Al Pacino
125. Jim Caviezel
126. Josh Holloway
127. Will Smith (EW NO)
128. Matthew McConaughey (lots and lot sand lots and lots and LOTS of persuasion)
129. Matthew Fox
130. Ryan Reynolds
131. Desmond Harrington
132. Brendan Fehr
133. James Lafferty
134. Tom Felton (he gets uglier every movie.. i'd take Dan Radcliffe before him any day! that boy gets hotter every movie)
135. Scott Speedman
136. Erik von Detton (haha i remember him)
137: Diego Luna (kathleen likes him)
138. Julian McMahon
139. Steven Gerrard (ARGH there's nothing bolder than bold! i know! i'll double bold!)

that was a sad 10 minutes of my life...

legovanan
i did a survey of kristina's, but it screwed up my layout.

finally got back to writing forsaken, after about two months hiatus!

OOO I FINALLY FOUND OUT STEVEN GERRARD'S MIDDLE NAME! that boy hides it very well.. and i found another interesting tidbit. Alright maybe only interesting for me.

"Certain members of the English squad broke into my bedroom and put toothpaste in my shoes. I'm trying to find out who did it. I have asked Robbie Fowler, and he swore on his baby's life, so it's definitely not Fowler. They are supposed to do nice things on your birthday!"

legovanan
You know what I hate about coming back? Everyone expects you to talk about your trip. Someone remind me to do that. And to talk about Elsa coming over cuz that was AWESOME. But I'm feeling a bit lazy at the moment...
So yea
I HAVE RETURNED
(2 days ago)

legovanan
It's ME!!! and guess where I am?? well I'm about to leave for Beijing.

BAD NEWS
MY FREAKIN LEFT EYE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SWOLLEN!!!!!!!!!! I LOOK LIKE THE FREAKIN PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT COOL!!!!

But that's not all: my left arm is swollen in three places, as well as both my knees. but my LEFT EYE. You think I have small asian eyes, now the left one is NONEXISTENT!!!!!!!!!!! NOT COOL!!!! STOP LAUGHING ALREADY!!!

Lala I'm back on the 13th. What else is there to say? O yes, the food is sooo good here! I miss McDonalds though.
o yes.. LIVERPOOL WON!!!!! And Gerrard stays!! and he wore white!!!! eheheh matthew's killing his gerrard doll right now. ooo that's a good idea, i should get you one of those.
I'm going to go now. Bye bye! Post on my chatter por favor!

legovanan
leaving for the airport soon.. dad's being a @$%(*&

i remember the airport this time last year

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WALK ON!! WALK ON!! WITH HOPE IN YOUR HEART!!
YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Breaking news--Steven Gerrard:
"I just couldn't leave the club I love."

"I had the whole of yesterday to think about my decision and what I was doing. I turned off my phone and my television and went through it all in my head again," said Gerrard.

"After considering everything that's gone on, I just couldn't go through with it and leave this club. I never said I wanted to leave in the first place, but I'd felt I was being backed into a corner and had to push things on.

"I know it was going to look as though I wanted to go, but at one stage I thought I had no choice. When I thought about it more, I just wanted to stay.

"I admitted I've made mistakes and the club has acknowledged they've made some mistakes as well. But now we've sorted it out and I'm doing what I wanted to do all along, which is stay at Liverpool."

He added: "I've now apologised to Liverpool and they've apologised to me, which is important. I was left feeling so confused yesterday. I was receiving all kinds of advice and information from so many people, but I just had to sit down with my girlfriend and advisor and think it all through again for myself. I was just thinking 'how have we got into this mess and what's the best way out of it?'. I knew I had to do what I'd intended doing all along and sign a new contract.

"I made the decision last night that I couldn't leave this club. I love Liverpool so much. This is my club. My heart is with Liverpool. I don't need to tell anyone that. Everyone who knows me can see how I feel. The last thing I wanted to do was leave, I just couldn't do it."

"My relationship with the supporters has always been fantastic and I knew a lot of people would be disappointed if I'd decided to go. I thought about the fans and the future," Gerrard said.

"As I'd said all along, I never wanted to leave. I don't want to go into details now about what happened over the last few weeks because the most important thing now is we can sort it out.

"I'm going to sign a new contract and, like I've always done, will be doing everything possible to make Liverpool successful again.

"It's been a bit of a mess but now we can sort it out and move forward. As I've said, we can all learn things from this.

"Now we all want to look forward."

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CELEBRATION!!!!!!!!!! i'm sorry to all the Phantom songs i butchered! YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES YES YES YES!!!!!!

Moores, our chairman says: "He said he's committed himself for life, so however long he lives!"

Stevie also promised that "This will never happen again."

"The last five or six weeks were the hardest of my life because I wrongly believed the club didn't want me. I don't want to get into attaching blame to anyone," he said.

"If I blame anyone, it's myself. I wanted my future sorted out as soon as possible after the Champions League final and when that wasn't the case, the longer it went on, the more misunderstandings there were.

"There was confusion and doubt in my mind. I had discussions with the manager, but the reports of bust-ups are complete nonsense. Now I know how much the club wants me.

"I feel I must defend my agent, Struan Marshall, in this. He's taken a lot of stick but all along he's never done anything I didn't ask him to.

"He's well respected at Liverpool and has done deals for me and other players in the past. He's conducted himself in the right way.

"He's a big factor in my decision to stay and organising the contract.

"I'll be signing the deal, maybe even today. I'd also like it known there are no clauses in that contract. This won't be happening again next summer or ever again, so far as I'm concerned.

"I've committed my long-term future to the club and I want all the speculation to end now. This is what I've wanted all along."

i had a dream last night that we lost to TNS (the crappiest team in the world) 6-1, and TRAORE, our LEFT BACK had to score the goal in the 90th minute. BUT NOW THAt'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN BECAUSE WE HAVE OUR SKIPPER, OUR SCOUSER, OUR STEVIE G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*leaves in celebration*

legovanan
trying to take my mind off, so took this quiz from andy. quite interesting. i shall comment in parentheses and/or italics what i do and don't agree with.

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

ME??! DOWN TO EARTH?!? PUAHAHHA. I'm a little conceited ***** and I know it. I am pretty straightforward. ME listen to BOTH sides of the argument. PUAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH! i'm MAKING one side of the argument that's why that's wrong!

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Uh.. basically, yea. I'd chain myself to Anfield.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
Uh. I don't know about this one. I've never really thought about that. It could be right, as I trust way to easily... As they say: If you trust before you try, you may repent before you die. BAh I don't listen.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
AHAAHAHAHA elaine with lots of admirers eh? let me see.. Steven Gerrard. Anthony Le Tallec. Frank Lampard. ehehe. I disagree. I might be accused of being a flirt, outside this country (COUGH COUGH NO SNIDE COMMENTS ENGLAND PEOPLE), but I don't take it lightly.

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.
Now that just TOPS in hilarity. Elaine NOT studying.. puahaahahahahah.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

HEY I know what I want to do, generally...

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
I AM afraid of failure, but I doubt that will scare me out of a career.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Me? ANGER? no idea what you're talking about! heh. that's the best i've seen my little fears expressed.. don't like change, aka stuff i can't control. Couldn't have said it better.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long. hahahaha NICE. that's PERFECT. mood swings do NOT mean i'm bipolar. camron would disagree with the unpredictable part. i'd agree with everything else

I think this is a record number of posts for a day. All for you Stevie, all for you.

matthew got this off an everton board. a liverpudlian sent his evertonian friend this (wow we're not the only ones trespassing across that line)

this says everything we feel... tis perfect. hats off to the writer
"...it's just starting to sink in and it f*ing stinks. To see him in another shirt will be like having your heart ripped out. It was different with McManaman, he was always going, Fowler's best days were behind him and Owen for some reason never reached legend status. But Gerrard, he's everything. To see him go is unbelievable..."

Heartbreaking... I thought, that if the world broke into pieces, that if the Apocalypse came, and Mount Doom had devil spawn everywhere, that of all people, Steven Gerrard would still be there, wearing his #8 red shirt, and his captain armband, waving the Liverpool crest. I thought it hurt when I come back from England Michael Owen says he's leaving, but Stevie, it's.. i don't have words. He IS Liverpool. I just hope to Iluvatar and every other deity out there that the club doesn't crumble, like Carragher and Finnan ditching as well. Please say something Stevie. You say it hurts to leave. You know what you've done to us? What happened to us being the best fans ever? Twelfth man, remember? Kept you running 90 minutes. You said that working out didn't help; we did.

Some guy supposedly chained him to Anfield. I wanna join him. Stupid Evertonians suggested sarcastically to hold a sign that says: Love is greater than money.

Other than the fact that I refuse to believe that he's leaving for money, tis true. Your boyhood club. Your club for life. Fourteen years means nothing to you, does it Steven?

legovanan
elaine was feeling useless and BLAH, so what does she do?
she takes up her favorite pen, the blue one that needs to be refilled, and starts scribbling.
This is the weirdest thing I've ever written. Someone tell me the theme, title, and what the hell I was thinking when I wrote it? And what i mean by it?

A shard of glass
Alone. Transparent.
Colorlessly fading into the world.
Earning no second glance.

The sun rises and falls.
Poignantly fair.
Alone in its recurring journey
Ever pressing; never ceasing

The moment they meet
So blindingly beautiful no eyes can bear
They bask in each other's glory
Light no longer solitary; beauty shared.

The daily journey has a meaning.
The world no longer bleak
The blessed moment awaits
Until...

The glass shatters.

legovanan
Soccernet writes:
Steven Gerrard has spoken of his anguish at quitting Liverpool - but that pain is nothing compared to the misery of the supporters he has rejected.

Rick Parry begged him: Think of Istanbul. Think of the fans. Think of that 12th man.

Did you think of us Steven? OOO I CAN SING THINK OF ME NOW. Alright i'll spare you. but DID YOU steven? did you think of us when that jersey of yours was burned at the gate of Anfield today? Are you thinking of us now?

HAH Kristina thinks I ruined All I Ask Of You. Alright, now let's ruin Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again.
Phantom freaks, shield your eyes:

You were once our one talisman
You were all that mattered.
You were once our star and skipper.
Then our world was shattered.

Wishing you were somehow here again.
Hoping that you someday will.
Sometimes it seems, if I just dreamed
Somehow you would be here.

Wishing I could see your strikes again
Knowing that I never will.
Dreaming of you won't help us to do
All that you dreamed we could!

Wishing you were somehow here again
Knowing you won't change your mind
Try to pretend it won't happen
Please change your mind Steven!!

No more liver birds; no more yellow armbands
No more singing with Anfield
I won't say goodbye.
I won't say goodbye...

Hmm... let's see.. I think that's the only other Phantom song I can ruin. What am I going to do? Help me make the music of the REDS?? hehehe that would be funny. OO good IDEA. Elsa don't shoot me if you see this. I blame it all on the skipper.

Say you'll share with us, one club, one lifetime
Lead us, save us from our hopelessness
Say you'll stay with us, here beside us
Promise us that all you say is true
Stevie G, that's all we ask of you

Say you'll share with us, one club, one lifetime
Say the word and we will follow you
Share each game with us, each loss, each triumph

You will curse the day you did not do
All that Liverpool asked of you!!!

Now that I have sufficiently butchered that song. Let's think what else I can do that.

I just discovered why so many people turn to alcohol and other strong drink to drown out their sorrows.

WHY STEVEN WHY?!?! NO ONE UNDERSTANDS. TELL US WHY. RAFA DOESN'T KNOW. RICK PARRY DOESN'T UNDERSTAND "YOUR REASONING" as he says. We don't understand why you're abandoning us. Even Jamie Carragher, your best friend, doesn't understand. WHY

WHY

Is all I can ask

WHY

legovanan
I'm going to go cry now.
That's an understatement.
I'm going to DIE now.

Liverpool Football Club released this official statement today regarding the extremely speculated future of captain beloved, boyhood Red, Steven Gerrard, pictured above:

"The club has made it crystal clear we want to keep Steven at Anfield. Sadly, he has told us this afternoon that he will not accept our offer of an improved and extended contract because he wants to leave Liverpool. We very much regret the decision he has taken."

The front picture of Soccernet is a picture of Gerrard after the CL Final, kissing the Liverpool crest. You kiss it then Stevie, why do you want to leave now? According to him, no reason thus far:

'The last six weeks have been the toughest of my life.'

'The decision I have come to has been the hardest decision I have ever had to make,' he told Sky Sports.

'I fully intended to sign a new contract after the Champions League final but the events of the past five or six weeks have changed all that.

'I have too much respect for the club and the people at it to get involved in a slanging match.'

So why didn't you SIGN? You told them to "wait". Rafa waited. Now what do you want? 100,000 pounds a WEEK?! No one should ever be paid that high in the world, no matter what profession it is (andy you can ramble about this if you like), but we were willing to make you the highest paid player in the history of Liverpool FC. No one, not even King Kenny or Ian Rush even thought about demanding so much. Now Chelsea want you for 32 mil, and Liverpudlians are complaining no less than 40 mil. Is that what you WANT? To wear blue?! What happened to, "How could I leave after a night like this?"

Of all the people in the world, our skipper decides to leave after winning the Champions League. Our skipper. Beloved scouser skipper. Go to Spain if you have to Gerrard, don't stay in England and pour salt on our wounds. No one can see you in a "Fly Emirates" blue jersey and bear to live.

Now die-hard Reds fans are going on, demanding where the loyalty is, talking trash about him. That just pisses me off even more. STOP pretending that you don't care. Stop pretending that he doesn't matter. Stop pretending that whatever club gets him will be the most blessed club ever. You KNOW it hurts. You know you want to cry. Don't hate him and tell him he's the most egotistical piece of crap Anfield ever produced. He'll never change his mind if you do that. He'll never come back if you do that. As former manager Gerard Houllier, whom you all once adored when we won that treble but later trashed said:

"We don’t destroy our heroes today when we worshipped them yesterday."

He WAS our hero. He still should be our hero. He's our talisman. He can't possibly leave. Please Stevie... Anything. Just say you want to stay!! Say you don't want to leave! ANYTHING!

Though he hasn't filed an official transfer request, Rick Parry is apparently being a proud @#$O!U# by refusing to offer him anything more. You and Rafa both said that you would fight to the very end, the very last second until he put his signature down on a piece of paper to keep him. Don't stop fighting stupid Mourinho for him.

One day, I'm going to learn not to trust the words of footballers when they say they're "red for life". Or another color, like blue. Except Jamie Carragher. He's red for life.

I have died. Someone bury me. Remember, all the Tolkien books go in my grave with me.
Epitaph: You'll Never Walk Alone.
Not even you, Steven Gerrard.

legovanan
Bad news.. my great-aunt on my mother's side (grandma's sister; english family relations confuse me; twice removed, all that stuff) passed through the grey-rain curtain of this world; it turned to silver glass, and i'm hoping she saw the white shores and the far green country under a swift sunrise beyond.
If you don't know what I'm talking about under my Tolkien references, let's just say my great-aunt isn't with us any longer. Relate that to your own religions and mental capacities; i related it to mine.

She's closer to my mom than my grandma is, so my mom, my aunt, and my older cousin are all going to her funeral. Apparently my mom's taking me along, and we leave tomorrow night, unless she changes her mind and let's me stay. I mean, I don't want to sound like an extremely unsensitive selfish brat and I know I should probably be there, but I didn't really know her. My older cousin grew up with her; my great-aunt waited for her every day after school to take her out and buy her sweets, as she never married, never even went on a date (hehe kathleen don't feel bad i'll always love you), and my aunts obviously grew up with her, but to me, she was hao puo (bad pin yin), an obstinate old lady who spoke 4 languages including french and russian (which i'm going to learn), loved football (REAL FOOTBALL to you yanks) and was a bit loony. I mean, I don't mind going, but why this week? WHY

Lo siento. Desole. Schade. Arrependido. Zhal. Ani apsene!! Ai, haryal nyerenya. Hanna, mellon nin, we will have to cancel/reschedule. I'm coming back on the 12th apparently, at this rate, so I forget what day you're leaving, but hopefully I can see you. I'll tell you what's happening soon. I sigh and cry. That was the highlight of my summer man. damn it. Last year at this time I was packing to leave for England...

legovanan
Alright so Andy ordered me to give him a rant topic, so I'll just start rambling and see what I come up with.
Can't believe I watched and got hooked onto a Korean drama last night. I have had a revelation: There ARE hot ASIAN guys in this world. Not in any great numbers, but they're out there, and some of them, in all their glory and small eyes, are better looking than the hottest white guys.. Kristina's probably puking by now: "what do you mean HOT ASIAN?!?! LEMME SEE!!! GIMME!!! HE'S MINE! HE'S WHITE!!" hehehe

But then I turned my VCR/DVDs on and again, fell back into the trap of English lads.. cover your face Stevie Gerrard!!! Michael Owen!! Frank Lampard! Christian Burns! Orlando Bloom. Sean Biggerstaff. Daniel Radcliffe, and all the other hot TALL asian guys. *cough anomaly cough* (don't ask people)

So I was thinking last night (inspired by stupid Korean people whining and crying their eyes out) though i didn't mind the one guy crying tehehe. anyway, back to my thoughts, childhood dreams. How many do we have that we forget, that never come true? So many, but what you once thought was so important, that you would die if it didn't come true, doesn't hurt very much anymore. You laugh at the childishness and folly. Let's see some of elaine's childhood dreams. NO ONE LAUGH or i shoot!
1. Go to a Backstreet Boys concert
2. Be swept away into the sunset by Prince Charming upon his valiant steed
3. Go to England

Well #3 came, and left me aching for more.
Number one is hopefully happening on august 21, when kathleen and i go back to being little girls screaming over brian, howie, aj, nick, and kevin. teheh i can't help it!
Number two.. a bit unrealistic and dreamlike (eh kristina?) I figure, that's what chick flicks and korean melodramas are for. Eh whatever, a girl can dream.

As we grow older, we forget these longings of childhood, or if we don't forget them, dismiss them as immature dreams that would never come true in the real world. Why won't they? Isn't it sad that we lose what we wanted so much as a child?

Alright Andy that's all the rambling I have in me at the moment.

legovanan
Alright.. time for lists again

To read:
Hamlet
Othello
a comedy.. possibly Taming of the Shrew
The Age of Revolution
something by Turgenev
need to immerse myself into an european country, possibly France

to do
play piano
write lots
debate
sharpen political senses; been lagging lately. liverpool's been dominating too much over my political inclinations.. ahh!!! cover your face stevie gerrard!!!
read chinese
play basketball

to buy/obtain:
"Never Gone"--Backstreet Boys
"O"--Damien Rice
"Stop All the World Now"--Howie Day, or whatever his CD is called
"Liverpool: Kings of Europe" DVD

people:
Kathleen
Elsa (YAY!! NINE DAYS!!!!!!!)
Matthew
Connie
Isaac
Camron
Roshi
Olivia & Sydney
Kristina & Jen
and anybody i've forgotten

blah..............