legovanan
i've been neglecting my blog. i'm so ashamed. it's not because i don't have time to do it, and i'm always online, as those of you might know, but there's just nothing to say anymore, which i think is the problem. I think I'm going through this again, where I don't feel there is a purpose and there's nothing to excite me anymore. I know I'll snap out of it soon enough, but just right now, my life is so routine. I mean, I'm not asking for some great adventure like Aragorn and company, but just something different once in a while, or at least something to be excited over. Though basketball and soccer are in season, I'm not hanging on every statistic at the moment. School is so routine: get up early and tired, get on bus, argue with Camron, annoy andy with our noise, go to locker, go to class, wait for camron, walk to class, etc. there's nothing different, no purpose. I know I'm supposed to be getting a great education, but I don't like it there. The school and classes are alright, but there's no one (or at least no freshman) that I really really "bond" with. There's no one like Connie, Karisha, and Whitney for me to just sit down and laugh with. Again, here comes my tumbleweed analogy.. just floating along, no purpose in mind, and kathleen, don't tell me that's scientifically incorrect.

Yes, I know, there's writing and LotR, but I don't know. It just doesn't feel like it used to. Gymnastics is my only outlet anymore, but there's only so many times you can watch Aleksei Nemov on the high bar and floor exercise, and Aleksei Bondarenko on high bar, pommel horse, and vault until your dad screams that if he sees another gymnastics tape in the next 24 hours, he's going to burn them all. Sigh.. Maybe I just need a long rest...
I find myself dreaming about this past summer, the time I spent in the UK; all the fun and friendships we had there. That was an adventure, and it was like, for those three weeks, we were removed from our society, and all the worries and stress from home were gone. I felt so carefree, so happy.. ::sigh:: I need to stop doing this, write some poetry, and stop myself from plunging into depression again..

Going back to the no excitement thing, POLITICS doesn't even instill the same passion and anticipation in me anymore. I don't want to hear the latest news, because all I ever is Bush's triumphant gloating and how the future is gonna be great. Tell me how the future is going to be great when the entire world hates you? I was scrolling down cnn.com the other day, and in World News, they have a column for every continent except Antarctica, and I horrified me that in the 3 headlines they had under each continent, there was not a single one that didn't involve the words: killing, murder, bomb, explosion, suicide attack, terrorism, dead, injured, died, etc. What has our world become??? sometimes I wish it could just all stop. Why can't it just all stop? What is so hard about stopping all the fighting? No one likes killing or dying, so why do we fight so hard?!?
The only glimmer these past couple of days was discussing the election with Sam. I wrote sooooooo much yesterday, replying a REALLY long letter I got. It was fun talking to someone who actually cared.