WOW. I can't believe I'm actually having this conversation with my dad.
So Kathleen really needed to talk so she came into my house. We went into my room, jumped on the bed (because that's the only place to sit in my room AND.. what girls don't do that?), turned off the lights (cuz Kathleen felt insecure talking in the light because she felt like everyone could see her even though it's only me) and I changed into my pajamas and (HEAVEN FORBID) the tanktop I was wearing underneath my shirt. And apparently, through the wall my dad couldn't HEAR us talking because Kathleen has a soft voice compared to my loudspeaker projection.

bed + no lights + apparently no sounds + elaine in a tanktop (heaven forbid)

And now.
My dad thinks I'm a lesbian.

Seriously.
I'm not even joking.
I can't stop laughing when he's accusing me, which makes him think I'm avoiding the question, which makes it even funnier to me.

And if only you knew HOW ironic it is...

Wow I can't believe I'm having this accusation. I, Elaine Teng, the most straight person in the world who hyperventilates over a guy who works at Starbucks, is being accused by my supposedly homosexual-tolerant father of being LESBIAN with my BEST FRIEND of 14 years.

WOW.

And now he INSISTS that I tell him what Kathleen wanted to talk about and when I refuse, its' because I can't actually tell him and I'm just making it up and we were having gay sex.

Um... if I wanted to have sex, I wouldn't do it AT HOME with my DAD SITTING IN THE NEXT ROOM.

OH and Kathleen wanted me to sleep over. THAT is a DEFINITE SEXUAL ADVANCE.

WOW.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO XABI ALONSO SIGNED A NEW DEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FIVE YEARS!!!!!!!