legovanan
Here comes Simon's story, along with Connie being stupid:

SoCalldLadiesman: anakin sux
SoCalldLadiesman: yoda owns him
SoCalldLadiesman: I own him
SoCalldLadiesman: pwahahahaha
DSluvr4evr7: you like arguing w/ me, don't you?
DSluvr4evr7: PHST
DSluvr4evr7: Agree I may, upon Master Yoda
DSluvr4evr7: but upon you, I will not, and cannot
SoCalldLadiesman: hah
SoCalldLadiesman: OH YEAH!
DSluvr4evr7: I love Anakin!!1
DSluvr4evr7: wait... when did you hear about my infatuation w/ anakin?
SoCalldLadiesman: haha
SoCalldLadiesman: w/e
SoCalldLadiesman: do i need to tell u the great simon v anakin battle
SoCalldLadiesman: u told me
SoCalldLadiesman: when i killed that annoying elf of yours
DSluvr4evr7: argh
DSluvr4evr7: i did?
DSluvr4evr7: GASP
SoCalldLadiesman: muahahaha
SoCalldLadiesman: with my master swordsmanship
DSluvr4evr7: YOU DID NOT CALL HIM ANNOYING
DSluvr4evr7: aND NO you did NOT kill him
DSluvr4evr7: you EVIL person
DSluvr4evr7: the Dark Side of the Force clouds everything!!!
SoCalldLadiesman: :-D
DSluvr4evr7: Very difficult to see, it is..
SoCalldLadiesman: hahaa
DSluvr4evr7: o god i'm quoting yoda
DSluvr4evr7: this is scaring me
SoCalldLadiesman: yea
SoCalldLadiesman: fine tell u the great battle i will
DSluvr4evr7: o no you will not
DSluvr4evr7: you and your twisted stories
DSluvr4evr7: that aren't true
SoCalldLadiesman: hahah
SoCalldLadiesman: anywayz me and anakin were in a bar....
SoCalldLadiesman: hahah
DSluvr4evr7: o god
DSluvr4evr7: no more bar jokes!!!!
DSluvr4evr7: please!!!
DSluvr4evr7: don't be like madrid
SoCalldLadiesman: haha
SoCalldLadiesman: ok
SoCalldLadiesman: so anakin challenges me to a duel
DSluvr4evr7: o god no
DSluvr4evr7: come on
SoCalldLadiesman: cuz i insult u
DSluvr4evr7: not again
DSluvr4evr7: awww
SoCalldLadiesman: and since he "loves" u
DSluvr4evr7: defending my honor eh?
DSluvr4evr7: hehe i'm liking this
SoCalldLadiesman: didn't want to make this completely one sided
SoCalldLadiesman: hah
SoCalldLadiesman: so anyway
SoCalldLadiesman: he challenges me
SoCalldLadiesman: and i accept defending my honor
DSluvr4evr7: *sigh*
DSluvr4evr7: what honor?
SoCalldLadiesman: what i have left
SoCalldLadiesman: c'mon
SoCalldLadiesman: cut my some slack
DSluvr4evr7: ahahah
DSluvr4evr7: alright alright
DSluvr4evr7: so miniscule honor
SoCalldLadiesman: WOOOOOT!
SoCalldLadiesman: anyway
SoCalldLadiesman: i accept
SoCalldLadiesman: and later that day
SoCalldLadiesman: we show up at....
SoCalldLadiesman: where do u want to duel to take place?
SoCalldLadiesman: lol
SoCalldLadiesman: hey this is an interactive story
DSluvr4evr7: whoops sry
DSluvr4evr7: interacting
DSluvr4evr7: um..
SoCalldLadiesman: haha
DSluvr4evr7: thinking of planet
DSluvr4evr7: which planet do i like
DSluvr4evr7: Alderaan or Naboo
DSluvr4evr7: take your pick
SoCalldLadiesman: naboo
SoCalldLadiesman: so anyway
SoCalldLadiesman: we meet on naboo
DSluvr4evr7: i hate Padme
DSluvr4evr7: but anyway
SoCalldLadiesman: hahaha
DSluvr4evr7: she should die
SoCalldLadiesman: (i'll kill her for u)
SoCalldLadiesman: anyway
DSluvr4evr7: yay you should
SoCalldLadiesman: we meet in the palace garden
DSluvr4evr7: you can be my bounty hunter!
SoCalldLadiesman: haha
SoCalldLadiesman: np
SoCalldLadiesman: as long as u pay up
SoCalldLadiesman: haha
SoCalldLadiesman: anyway
SoCalldLadiesman: we start the duel
SoCalldLadiesman: and dance of parries and attacks
DSluvr4evr7: *sigh*
DSluvr4evr7: dance...
DSluvr4evr7: simon
SoCalldLadiesman: lol
DSluvr4evr7: dancing
SoCalldLadiesman: ?
SoCalldLadiesman: what?
SoCalldLadiesman: it creates imagery
SoCalldLadiesman: not of violence
DSluvr4evr7: good job
DSluvr4evr7: hahaha
SoCalldLadiesman: but of beauty
SoCalldLadiesman: haha
DSluvr4evr7: if you devoted all this energy to your english hw
DSluvr4evr7: you might actually do well
SoCalldLadiesman: hahahaha
SoCalldLadiesman: i am
SoCalldLadiesman: almost an a
DSluvr4evr7: wow.. simon creating beautiful imagery
DSluvr4evr7: turn this in for english
SoCalldLadiesman: hahha
SoCalldLadiesman: anyway
SoCalldLadiesman: this continues for a while
SoCalldLadiesman: though we both realize we are about equally matched
DSluvr4evr7: O GIVE ME A BREAK
DSluvr4evr7: he's the CHOSEN ONE
SoCalldLadiesman: haha
DSluvr4evr7: you're NOTHING
SoCalldLadiesman: but i know he has the upper hand
SoCalldLadiesman: due to his extense training with the great jedi masters
SoCalldLadiesman: happy?
DSluvr4evr7: extenSIVE
DSluvr4evr7: haha anakin would be so pissed to hear you say that
DSluvr4evr7: due to his training
DSluvr4evr7: he'd say that it's all him
SoCalldLadiesman: hahaha
SoCalldLadiesman: stubborn brat
SoCalldLadiesman: anyway
SoCalldLadiesman: he reaches into his tunic
SoCalldLadiesman: and pulls out another lightsaber
DSluvr4evr7: ooo go anakin
DSluvr4evr7: kick his butt
DSluvr4evr7: wait...
DSluvr4evr7: what is your weapon?
SoCalldLadiesman: and instantly my facial expression goes from :) to :(
SoCalldLadiesman: same
SoCalldLadiesman: but i only have one
SoCalldLadiesman: haha
DSluvr4evr7: hahaha simon wielding a lightsaber
DSluvr4evr7: interesting
SoCalldLadiesman: thats what u think
SoCalldLadiesman: he charges
SoCalldLadiesman: and leaps gracefully into the ear with the greatest of ease
SoCalldLadiesman: and does an over head swing with both lightsabers
SoCalldLadiesman: i block
SoCalldLadiesman: the intensity pushes me into the ground
SoCalldLadiesman: instantly the ground breaks around me
SoCalldLadiesman: and start to sink into the ground
DSluvr4evr7: right
DSluvr4evr7: the ground is breaking now
DSluvr4evr7: what is this? the apocalypse?
SoCalldLadiesman: whoa showing the amazing power he has
DSluvr4evr7: nice
SoCalldLadiesman: the force he is administering upon me is so great
SoCalldLadiesman: yea..
SoCalldLadiesman: anyway
SoCalldLadiesman: with all my strength
SoCalldLadiesman: i push away
SoCalldLadiesman: and find my footing again
SoCalldLadiesman: now i know im screwed
SoCalldLadiesman: but i keep a optimistic point of view
DSluvr4evr7: what footing?
DSluvr4evr7: wait... are you gonna squeeze out his gray matter in this one too?!
SoCalldLadiesman: nah
SoCalldLadiesman: i push off
SoCalldLadiesman: and find ground that has not been shattered by the force of his attack
SoCalldLadiesman: anyway
SoCalldLadiesman: he charges again
SoCalldLadiesman: swinging in a hurricane like motion
SoCalldLadiesman: i block
SoCalldLadiesman: but find it extremely hard to block both lightsabers
DSluvr4evr7: ah
DSluvr4evr7: just DIE already simon
SoCalldLadiesman: and i miss a block and he slices my left arm
SoCalldLadiesman: (u forget i win)
SoCalldLadiesman: anyway
SoCalldLadiesman: i retreat a few steps back
DSluvr4evr7: so are you missing an arm now?
SoCalldLadiesman: nah
SoCalldLadiesman: just cut
SoCalldLadiesman: nothing majorly serious
SoCalldLadiesman: to your disappointment
DSluvr4evr7: damn
SoCalldLadiesman: anyway i administer a very crude form of first aid
DSluvr4evr7: hahah
DSluvr4evr7: it's called BACTA
SoCalldLadiesman: and stand up
SoCalldLadiesman: ok
SoCalldLadiesman: he has a grin on his face
SoCalldLadiesman: as if he has already won
SoCalldLadiesman: this angers me
SoCalldLadiesman: just then
SoCalldLadiesman: padme run onto the field
SoCalldLadiesman: and pleads anakin to stop this pointless battle
DSluvr4evr7: KILL HER
SoCalldLadiesman: and she tells him that she loves him
SoCalldLadiesman: i laugh
SoCalldLadiesman: and look at him
SoCalldLadiesman: he nods
SoCalldLadiesman: and i charge
SoCalldLadiesman: and pierce her through the back
SoCalldLadiesman: and she instantly kneels onto the floor
DSluvr4evr7: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
SoCalldLadiesman: and
SoCalldLadiesman: then anakin says," let me finish this"
SoCalldLadiesman: and steps up to her
SoCalldLadiesman: and says" my heart belongs to elaine"
SoCalldLadiesman: and beheads her
DSluvr4evr7: OMG
DSluvr4evr7: cruelty
DSluvr4evr7: that does not belong to a Jedi
DSluvr4evr7: i want you to kill her
SoCalldLadiesman: fine
SoCalldLadiesman: rewind
DSluvr4evr7: but not putting Anakin's Jedi principles at stake
SoCalldLadiesman: k
SoCalldLadiesman: well he tells her that he loves u and all this crap
SoCalldLadiesman: and then I behead her
SoCalldLadiesman: her head must of gone at least 50 yds
SoCalldLadiesman: :-D
DSluvr4evr7: ahahahahaha
SoCalldLadiesman: happy?
SoCalldLadiesman: AND he had the balls to tell her he loved u
DSluvr4evr7: yay
SoCalldLadiesman: i think that made it at least a little more intersting
DSluvr4evr7: good!!!
DSluvr4evr7: i'm liking this so far
DSluvr4evr7: simon's hurt
DSluvr4evr7: and padme's dead
DSluvr4evr7: and anakin loves me!
SoCalldLadiesman: haha
DSluvr4evr7: i think matthew'll be pissed to hear this
SoCalldLadiesman: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
SoCalldLadiesman: then don't tell him
SoCalldLadiesman: anyway
SoCalldLadiesman: i resume the batter
SoCalldLadiesman: battle
SoCalldLadiesman: *
DSluvr4evr7: batter
DSluvr4evr7: egg batter
SoCalldLadiesman: lol
SoCalldLadiesman: sorrie
SoCalldLadiesman: anyway
DSluvr4evr7: i can just see you battering eggs
SoCalldLadiesman: haha
SoCalldLadiesman: i can cook
SoCalldLadiesman: i take up my stance and he does too
SoCalldLadiesman: * im trying to make it so i get a double edged lightsaber T_T*
SoCalldLadiesman: dammit
DSluvr4evr7: hahaaha
DSluvr4evr7: lightsabers don't have edges genius
SoCalldLadiesman: darth maul genius
SoCalldLadiesman: ef that im getting one
SoCalldLadiesman: haha
DSluvr4evr7: o that kind
DSluvr4evr7: that's not a double edged
DSluvr4evr7: it's called double SIDED
SoCalldLadiesman: so i look at padmes dead beheaded body
DSluvr4evr7: genius
SoCalldLadiesman: and i notice she is holding a lightsaber
SoCalldLadiesman: i guess anakin taught her the way of the jedi
SoCalldLadiesman: i can see it really paid off
SoCalldLadiesman: anyway i use the force and i pull the lightsaber from her lifeless body
SoCalldLadiesman: and using a sacred technique i fuse the two lightsabers together
SoCalldLadiesman: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA
DSluvr4evr7: um..
SoCalldLadiesman: shut it
DSluvr4evr7: you can't TEACH people the Jedi Way
SoCalldLadiesman: too bad
DSluvr4evr7: without them being Force sensitive, and from a young age.
DSluvr4evr7: which obviously, she is not
SoCalldLadiesman: yea o well
SoCalldLadiesman: yea
SoCalldLadiesman: i know
SoCalldLadiesman: anyway
DSluvr4evr7: and you can't freakin fuse it together
DSluvr4evr7: genius
SoCalldLadiesman: tha's what u think
SoCalldLadiesman: genius
SoCalldLadiesman: anyway
SoCalldLadiesman: i charge him
SoCalldLadiesman: and attack with a fury he has never seen
SoCalldLadiesman: quickly he takes a defensive stance
SoCalldLadiesman: and parries my attacks
SoCalldLadiesman: though with a little more effort
SoCalldLadiesman: he then pushes away
DSluvr4evr7: ah
SoCalldLadiesman: haha
SoCalldLadiesman: i am slowly being drained of my force powers
SoCalldLadiesman: and know soon i will be too weak to fight
SoCalldLadiesman: so this last attack
SoCalldLadiesman: will be the last for me
DSluvr4evr7: what Force powers?!
DSluvr4evr7: o great
DSluvr4evr7: here comes teh dramatic climax
SoCalldLadiesman: lol
SoCalldLadiesman: hahaha
SoCalldLadiesman: i take up a stance
SoCalldLadiesman: holding the lightsaber in my right hand behind me
SoCalldLadiesman: and my left hand in front
SoCalldLadiesman: and with what force i have left
SoCalldLadiesman: i throw the double sided light saber with all that i have left in me
DSluvr4evr7: As obi-wan says, "This weapon is your life. Never let go of it."
SoCalldLadiesman: the lightsaber whirls toward anakin
SoCalldLadiesman: eff that
DSluvr4evr7: a Jedi would NEVER throw his lightsaber
DSluvr4evr7: and Anakin
DSluvr4evr7: would never be hit
SoCalldLadiesman: i must of ditched that lesson
DSluvr4evr7: ahahahah like all the rest
SoCalldLadiesman: anyway
DSluvr4evr7: since you're NOT A JEDI
SoCalldLadiesman: shut up
SoCalldLadiesman: anyway
SoCalldLadiesman: i throw it
SoCalldLadiesman: and anakin easily jumps over if
SoCalldLadiesman: it*
SoCalldLadiesman: i see my fatal mistake
DSluvr4evr7: ahahha NICE
DSluvr4evr7: so DIE ALREADY
SoCalldLadiesman: anyway
SoCalldLadiesman: he walks up to me
SoCalldLadiesman: and raises his light saber for the final blow
SoCalldLadiesman: and he says
DSluvr4evr7: DIE SIMON
SoCalldLadiesman: u fought well
SoCalldLadiesman: and i anwers
SoCalldLadiesman: answer
SoCalldLadiesman: too bad i can't say the same for u
SoCalldLadiesman: and in that instant
DSluvr4evr7: o no
DSluvr4evr7: please don't tell me your hiding another lightsaber
DSluvr4evr7: in your utility bel
DSluvr4evr7: t
SoCalldLadiesman: my double sided lightsaber comes flying back
DSluvr4evr7: first of all, anakin would NEVER make that mistake
DSluvr4evr7: EVER
DSluvr4evr7: he's ANAKIN
DSluvr4evr7: the CHOSEN ONE
SoCalldLadiesman: due to the fact i threw it like a boomerang
DSluvr4evr7: SKYWALKER
DSluvr4evr7: bad reason
SoCalldLadiesman: and it beheads him
DSluvr4evr7: if i were writing this
DSluvr4evr7: you would die first of all
DSluvr4evr7: but you used the Force to summon you
DSluvr4evr7: *it
DSluvr4evr7: but obviously, you skipped that class too
DSluvr4evr7: Connection to the Force 101
SoCalldLadiesman: eh he's dead
SoCalldLadiesman: beheaded
SoCalldLadiesman: muahahaha
SoCalldLadiesman: and then elaine shows up
SoCalldLadiesman: and brutally kills him
SoCalldLadiesman: me*
DSluvr4evr7: YES!!!!!!!1
DSluvr4evr7: FINALLY!!!!!!!1
SoCalldLadiesman: and thus i served my purpose
DSluvr4evr7: MY DREAM HAS COME TRUE!!!!!!!!
DSluvr4evr7: NO!!!!!!
DSluvr4evr7: and then i THROW myself upon Anakin's body
SoCalldLadiesman: since elaine killed one out of rage
DSluvr4evr7: and lament
DSluvr4evr7: sing a dirge
DSluvr4evr7: wait.. you didn't behead him
SoCalldLadiesman: she has been comsumed by the dark side
DSluvr4evr7: he has to have a heroic death scene man!!
DSluvr4evr7: GASP
DSluvr4evr7: coNsumed
SoCalldLadiesman: hahaha
DSluvr4evr7: but NEVER
DSluvr4evr7: elaine would never do such a thing
SoCalldLadiesman: TOO LATE
SoCalldLadiesman: u have been condemned to teh dark side
SoCalldLadiesman: and lead a life of shame
SoCalldLadiesman: muahahahaha
DSluvr4evr7: o whatever
SoCalldLadiesman: my death had a higher purpose
SoCalldLadiesman: muahahahah
SoCalldLadiesman: save this convo
SoCalldLadiesman: haha
SoCalldLadiesman: i gtg
DSluvr4evr7: the Dark Side is a pathway to many abilities some believe to be unnatural, as Palpatine says
DSluvr4evr7: bye
SoCalldLadiesman: i'll make another for u
DSluvr4evr7: you're impossible
DSluvr4evr7: ahahha who else do i love?
SoCalldLadiesman: where i die
DSluvr4evr7: o god, next one'll be a soccer player
SoCalldLadiesman: if u want
DSluvr4evr7: can my love be victorious for once?!
SoCalldLadiesman: anyway it'll be my death
SoCalldLadiesman: from anakin and legolas
SoCalldLadiesman: what REALLY would of happened
SoCalldLadiesman: had i been stupid enough to challenge them
DSluvr4evr7: aahah
SoCalldLadiesman: haha
SoCalldLadiesman: i think you'll like this one
DSluvr4evr7: for once
DSluvr4evr7: just don't kill matthew and i'll be okay w/ith you
SoCalldLadiesman: hey!
SoCalldLadiesman: u can't deny the fact taht i tell good stories
DSluvr4evr7: ehehhe very
DSluvr4evr7: beautiful imagery, right?
SoCalldLadiesman: though u dont have to agree with what happens in them
SoCalldLadiesman: sure
DSluvr4evr7: hehehe of course
SoCalldLadiesman: hahaha
SoCalldLadiesman: my stories rock
SoCalldLadiesman: hahaha
SoCalldLadiesman: hehehehehehehe
SoCalldLadiesman: something im fairly ok at
DSluvr4evr7: haahha yea you're pretty good
DSluvr4evr7: though i hate the endings
SoCalldLadiesman: hey its good
SoCalldLadiesman: though i wish i could explain it more
SoCalldLadiesman: haha
DSluvr4evr7: hehehe you should publish these
DSluvr4evr7: "The torturings of Elaine"
SoCalldLadiesman: lol
SoCalldLadiesman: maybe one day
SoCalldLadiesman: and the last one
SoCalldLadiesman: "elaines victory"
SoCalldLadiesman: and it'll read
SoCalldLadiesman: elaine kills simon
DSluvr4evr7: heheheheh
DSluvr4evr7: YES!
SoCalldLadiesman: hahaha
SoCalldLadiesman: anyway
DSluvr4evr7: and revives, legolas, anakin, and everyone else Simon killed
SoCalldLadiesman: save this convo
SoCalldLadiesman: lol w/e
DSluvr4evr7: yes i will
SoCalldLadiesman: haha
SoCalldLadiesman: gtg