legovanan
Coach Yano is trying to kill us. We went an hour and a half without a break, and it was all full court sprinting. He's like, "I'm teaching you guys how to hustle." There were only 10 girls there too, so that meant practice ran really quickly and you had to do the drills extra amounts.
And pitting me against Esther one on one is the greatest injustices ever done! It's unfair to both of us! Too easy for her and too embarrassing for me. The only thing worse would be to throw me in with Alexis. Oyy.. I couldn't breathe for half the practice.

I've been surprised at myself lately. I have discovered another side of me, a very self-sadistic side. No, I am not cutting myself and watching myself bleed, though you could put it that way. I have no external wounds for anyone who's gonna go fill out a form about me. I somehow like to torture myself though. When I know I'm not going to get anything but pain from something, I seek it insanely. It's like a moth drawn to the flame.
Actually, I've known this side of me for years, but I've added a new dimension to it.
Maybe the pain is better than the overwhelming void. Uh-oh I'm starting to sound existentialist. Not good. I'll allow myself for once. Feeling pain makes you remember that you exist and gives you drive. It also makes for good writing material. Feeling numb however, makes you feel like you're floating meaninglessly, with no purpose in life and its then that I am most depressed.

Oyy.. at the rate I'm going, I'm going to want extremely sadistic, sad books about bunny suicides.
Must not sink to that level. Hehe you love me Andy.

Enya is great.