legovanan
I don't know what ill devil possessed me to do this, but I just thought of making a list of names you wouldn't, or at least I wouldn't, name my children, and reasons why. Not in any particular order, or just in the order that I think of them. Getting these from an actual list of names, so not making them up.

Boys:
1. Frodo
As Andy once put it, imagine this great, hot, macho jock, comes up to a group of girls, (if you are a girl, imagine him coming up to you), and getting his flirt on, says, "Hey ladies, my name's Frodo." I mean.. how big of a turn off would that be? I mean, I think the only person I know who wouldn't mind that, would be ME, and I personally don't go for macho jocks. If someone WERE to be named Frodo, they'd have to be soft-spoken, extremely vulnerable looking, with curly black hair and great blue eyes. NO wait, that IS Frodo Baggins. Whoops
2. Alexavier
Alright make up your mind. Do you want Alexander, Alex, or Xavier? Don't just lump all three names together!
3. Bonner
Someone who likes the name Conner, but tries to hard too be different. Reminds me too much of "Bonnet" anyway.
4. Brasen
Rhymes with raisin, and is a homophone of brazen, which is not an adjective I'd like associated with my child.
5. Abner
Maybe "Hey Arnold!" traumatized my young brain, but I can never think of the name Abner, without thinking of a pig.
6. Balthasar
I don't know why. Just say it. Say Balthasar five times aloud, and tell me if you like it. I mean, even Bartholemew is better than that name.

Girls:
1. Prissy
WHY? WHY PRISSY? I mean... that's like a name for a DOG. "Come here Prissy!" One of the potential mates for Pongo in 101 Dalmatians is named Prissy; the artistic one. OMG HOW DO I KNOW THAT. It's setting up your child for a lifetime of teasing.
"Hey there Prissy!
You're such a sissy!"
Okay that was a horribly bad chant, but STILL.
2. Barbie
Need I say more?
3. Biana
DIANA gone bad.
4. Cinnamon
Are you so much of a housewife that the only names you can think of are things around the household? I mean.. what's your next child going to be named: Toaster? And besides, name your child that and you run the risk of Jessica Simpson not knowing what she is.
5. Forever
I don't understand this taking of every day words, particularly beautiful every day words, and naming your child them. I mean... stop desecrating the english language!
6. Independence:
See #5. The only person who has a right to name their child this is long dead: Thomas Jefferson.
7. Jennis
Rhymes with tennis
8. Love
Why is it that I just really want to see someone named Love remain an old maid? If I were the gods of Fate I'd just do that on purpose. Or maybe I'm just cruel. Nah, I think the irony just appeals to me too much.
9. Pebbles
THAT is a dog name. Definitely. "Come here Pebbles!" "Don't touch that Pebbles!" Can you just hear a teacher saying, "Pebbles got an 100% on her test today." Great.. name your child after an inanimate object, and if you must, name it after something that isn't stepped on all day, because that doesn't bode well for your child's social status.
10. Tessica
Trying too hard to be an original Jessica.
11. Paris
Just because SHE's named this. Did you hear that she abandoned "Tinkerbell", for whom we were forced to endure DAYS of STUPID NEWS about, because it outgrew the ideal 3.5 pounds mark. Now she's doting on "Bambi." I LIKED BAMBI THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!! RUIN THE NAME
12. Angelica
You're just cursing your child to be mean and spiteful. Maybe the Rugrats scarred me or something.
13. Hortense
Andy bid me to add this. It's first of all an extremely ugly name, and plus: what would you call her for short?

Dad is calling me to get offline, so uh.. I may continue this list later!
Disclaimer: No offense to anyone! Just honest fun not meant to harm anyone.