I don't get along with people.

Alright I get along with some people.
I really need to work on it. From what I've gathered, especially from some of the closest friends, the first impression of Elaine is that she's scary. I apparently come off as a bit intimidating, know-it-all, and conceited. People are afraid to talk to me.
BAD.
My closest friends:
Elsa: She's too smart, it's scary. I can't talk to her. She might eat me.
Vicki: She's that one girl in history class that knows everything.
Kristina: Ahh she's too smart. She seems conceited.
Jen: She's weird.. she actually pays attention in bio.

BAD

And then they somehow overcome that barrier, and they realize that far from being smart, I am the world's biggest idiot, and I'm absolutely, insanely ridiculous. And all is fair and well.
GOOD

But that's also bad, because most people don't overcome the horrible first impression so they never see the insanity.

I guess I'm just hating the girls at theatre. They either look at me like I have six heads (the insane side) or just ignore me completely. Excuse me if I don't want to practice losing my virginity before I'm 18.

But it's frustrating because I have to spend so much time with these people. Is is true that Troy kids can't get along with other kids or something? Does Troy like do something to our social functions so that we only get along with each other? Or do I just fail?

I don't know what it was that made me say it today. So Cameron (Marius) was supposed to be warming us up because Jenn (director) didn't feel like it. This guy can't play the A major scale without making a mistake. Gah. So he wanted us to do this warmup that was like: do-mi-ray-fa-mi-so (C-E-D-F-E-G) Except he couldn't even play it.
I don't know what made me say it aloud.
He was like, "Listen closely. Sing this."
*messes up*
me: If you could play it...

What is WRONG with me?

Wow.. Elaine having self-esteem issues. This is shocking.

O yeah. People. Put the following songs on the "STOP AFFECTING ELAINE'S MOOD!!!" list:
1. "Let Me Be Your Wings"--Thumbelina (LEADING CULPRIT)
2. "All About You"--McFly
3. "A Whole New World"--Aladdin and Jasmine
4. "If You're Not the One"--Daniel Bedingfield
5. "This I Promise You"--NSync
6. "Somewhere"--West Side Story
7. "All I Ask Of You"--Phantom of the Opera
8. "Greatest Story Ever Told"--Oliver James
9. "Cry"--Mandy Moore
10. "Truly, Madly, Deeply"--Savage Garden

Argh...
Robin... let's go cry together.
Feeling very unloved... and all those STUPID HORRIBLE BALLADES AREN'T HELPING!!! Never mind that they're all like my favorite songs...
It's like the more I shouldn't listen to them, the more addicted I am. I just made a playlist called "Love Ballades" on itunes...

And to top it all off, I have realized why all doctors are Indian and not Chinese. Because it took Chinese doctors six months in and out of a freakin hospital to realize that my grandfather has lung cancer, and he is now in the terminal stage. So my dad is leaving for China on Wednesday, the 19th. My mom left for Atlanta for business this morning, and won't be back till the 26th. So guess who's completely alone for that entire week? Me. Illegal driving here we come. Elaine cooking.. *shudder* I'm supposed to try and bum rides off people for as much as I can, but if I have to, I'll drive. I don't know when Kathleen's getting back. Her entire family's in China and she has internship. Vicki's at camp and her family's in England. GAH. My mom suggested over the phone that I stay with Matthew because she trusts his mum. She's like, "You're so stupid. What the hell did you do to him? What'd you say to him that finally pissed him off? Why don't you two talk anymore? What's wrong with you? If you were, you could go stay with them." I hung up on her.

I'm so tired...

I just realized how good of a song "She Falls Asleep, Part 2" is.

Vicki.
Elsa.
Please come back.