legovanan
andy was saying some very depressing yet truthful things on his blog today that really made me think. grr. he made me think.. not a good thing. don't read this if u don't want 2 hear elaine preaching/wallowing

everybody has their own role, their own reason for existing. (sry for the stereotyping) some are leaders, who are assertive and aggressive, striving for the limelight, pushing others aside. others prefer to hide in the corner, following, doing what their told to do and working. some are quiet, yet have their own thoughts and ideas, yet do not express them, and are taken for granted. others are humorous and witty, brightening the day for those around them. there are lots more, but it'd be midnight before i'm done. none of these roles are better than the other. we need all of them to stay sane (or in my case insane)

ppl hide themselves, behind a mask bcuz they are insecure. they feel like the real person behind it is not good enough, not "cool" enough, not smart enough, not interesting enough. but as much as we want to, it's hard to take the mask off, bcuz it's like revealing your soul and the secrets buried deep down inside of your heart. it makes you vulnerable, and true, u may be attacked or taken advantage of a few times, but that's all part of life. that's how u learn. that's how u trust. taking off the mask is hard bcuz u have nothing to retreat back to once u do. the shell is gone.
when you are infected by pain, u grow accustomed to it and though it hurts, it's hard to take yourself out of the pain, bcuz u're scared that if u do, it'll happen again. u fear that pain will attack u again, and this time, u won't be able to withstand it, and at least this pain is familiar. that's why ppl are so afraid of change. at least this pain is familiar. if u step up, go the extra length, who knows what other pains and torments will be out there, lurking, waiting for u to hit them.

thanks for reading/listening to my ramble. andy, it's a chain reaction