So I went to Matthew's house to borrow his trig book for the IB Math project, and now I am really pissed off at my dad. He INSISTED on going with me, even though Matthew's house is what? 5 minutes away? And then when we got there, he HAD to make the PROFOUND observation, "Hey, haven't been HERE in a while."
"Yes Dad, I know. Probably because Matthew and I aren't as close anymore."
"Well it's your fault, you know."
"EXCUSE ME? WHAT?"
"It's YOUR fault you're so stupid and petty. You KNOW he hates Liverpool, so why do you have to go and like them and then fight with him about it?"
"OH. MY. GOD DAD. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LIVERPOOL AND EVERTON! We do that because it's FUN! "
"Yes it does. You HAD to go fight with him all the freakin time. What person will EVER like anyone who is always opposite of them? Only stupid people do that. No one will ever like you if you do that."
"DAD. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED! IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FOOTBALL! IF ANYTHING, FOOTBALL IS THE ONE THING THAT MATTHEW AND I HAVE IN COMMON OTHER THAN THE AIR AT TROY."
"I will NEVER understand how anybody could be SO obsessed with stupid guys running around kicking a ball. When we were growing up, we idolized Einstein and Madame Curie, not Gerrard because he can kick a ball. Only brainless people get so devoted to something so stupid and pick sides and fight about it all day and then, even MORE STUPID people like YOU are the ones who let those sides hurt other people's feelings and drive away your friends."

WHAT. THE. F*CK.

[edit]
OH YEAH. And then we saw a car with a personalized license plate in front of us and he launched into a tirade about that. Only stupid people waste money to do that and more importantly, only shallow, superficial, stupid people let something so stupid take over their minds and just HAVE to write some celebrity's name on their CAR. (He feels the same way about bumper stickers too, which is RIDICULOUS). And then he launched into, "YOU are just the same way with all your stupid shirts hanging on your wall. Why do you have to wear Gerrard on your back? Doesn't mean you ARE Gerrard. Doesn't mean you'll ever be able to even kick a football. Why do you have to go and have all those shirts? How stupid are you really?"
GREAT. Wait till Lahm comes.