legovanan
I feel a need to do something intelligent.
Yes that is a difficult, if not nearly impossible thing for Elaine to do.
The closest thing is writing, but Forsaken really is a weight on my neck right now, and I think I took all the poet out of me tonight.
What is there to do?
Looking at pictures of England while listening to Enya is NOT a smart thing to do when you don't want to be crying, especially with a swollen lip (courtesy of opposing basketball player who took it in her head to elbow Elaine in the mouth)
I don't want to do homework, though I've barely touched any of it so far, which is a highly bad idea.
I really really want to be somewhere else, anywhere else.
I really really want to write something really really poignantly beautiful, but I know I don't have the ability.
I really really want to read "Twilight", but that's under my bed at my mom's.
Everything I want has deserted me.
That or it's in England.

I don't understand this change in me. I remember thinking that home was the most beautiful place in the world, my favorite place in the world. I always wanted to come home. Other people got tired of sitting at home, but not Elaine.
Nowadays I want nothing but to be elsewhere. Alright that's not true. I prefer home to a plethora of places. I like to be at home, at Kathleen's, or in Europe. Anywhere in Europe. I want to travel. I want to see new places. I want to learn new things outside of a Troy HS classroom. I want to see, not just know that the world is round. I want to go to the edge of the horizon and see that I don't fall off, that it keeps going. I want to see if the Sistine Chapel really is that breathtaking, if the moors of Yorkshire really are covered with heather. I want to know if Russia really is that cold, if Paris really is the City of Lights and Romance. I want to meet new people.

It would be a really smart thing for me to turn off the Enya right now, especially since the bagpipes are beginning to play, but I can't stop myself...