CLASSIC QUOTES PEOPLE!!!!

Yogin--you'll like these.

Elsa--read them. I promise you'll laugh at least four times.

Everyone else--please do!

DON'T BE BIASED AGAINST THEM JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE FOOTBALL!

Southampton manager Gordon Strachan on Wayne Rooney
Its an incredible rise to stardom. At 17 you're more likely to get a
call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson.

Reporter: Gordon, Do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the
England squad?
Strachan: I dont care, I'm Scottish

Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"
Strachan: "Velocity" [walks off]

Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are
the right man to turn things around?
Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job
and I said, "No, I think they should have got George Graham because
I'm useless."

Reporter: Is that your best start to a season?
Strachan: Well I've still got a job so it's far better than the
Coventry one, that's for sure.

Reporter: Are you getting where you want to be with this team?
Strachan: We're not doing bad. What do you expect us to be like? We
were eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we got into
Europe. I don't know where you expect me to get to. Do you expect us
to win the Champions League?

Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?
Strachan: You're spot on! You can read me like a book.

Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a
yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my
priority rather than Agustin Delgado.

Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy
to get your first win under your belt, won't you?
Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to
bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there.

Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home,
become an alcoholic and maybe! jump of a bridge. Umm, I think I can
take it, yeah.

Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here.
I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man,
down.

Reporter: where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?
Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret.

Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?
Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.

Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were
better than you today?
Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there....

Then by other people:
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." -Winston Bennett

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." -Greg Norman

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." -Alan Minter

"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."-Metro Radio

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." -David Acfield

Steven Gerrard on Radio One. They have a bunch of celebrities and footballers and they ask them all, "What's your favorite cheese?"
He's the last to go and everyone before him's said, "Cheddar, parmesan, etc..."
Stevie G: Melted.

Commentator watching Liverpool (AKA: the Reds) game:
If you cut Jamie Carragher in half, he'd bleed Red. O wait, everyone does...

After England's 5-1 win over Germany (THANKS TO OWEN AND GERRARD! :D), manager:
This is England's biggest win over Germany since the war!

I love football. I love Scousers. A bunch of drunken idiots. I love them!

Hey that sounds like McFly--drunken idiots.

So I like drunken idiots with really really thick accents that even I have problems with. I think everyone in England has problems with Scousers and Cockneys to be honest. I don't know if they know what they're saying sometimes.